Home > Bethesda, Company, Crap, Fallout, Games, Oldies, Thoughts > Fallout 3: A post nuclear F***ing FPS.

Fallout 3: A post nuclear F***ing FPS.

We were always skeptical about Fallout 3, and it turned out that we were right.

Here’s the trailer taken from game:


To all who said Bethesda will do Fallout 3 great: F*ck you.

I’ll go fishing today, to keep myself happy.

  1. WookieDookie
    November 9, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    We knew it was going to be Oblivion with guns from the moment Bethesda took the helm.

    We know that the crap sites that get free company props will keep awarding it 95% like with all other hype based crap games.

    We know that we, who like decent, real quality games won’t give a f*** and won’t bother with this crap FPS, because anything from replaying older stuff to nose picking and ball scratching will be more entertaining than playing Fallout 3.

  2. Angry Man
    November 10, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    You my man are a tosser. This is a great game and you are talking utter shite!! Good day.

    • Ben A. Jerry
      April 5, 2010 at 2:06 pm

      Don’t even get me started on the highly-acclaimed Oblivion.

      No, this is my rant about Fallout 3. Since it’s single player, I can’t rant online to the people I play with, so I wanted to share my opinions with others
      and see if anyone agrees. Also, to anyone thinking about getting FO3, just read this.

      1. Graphics- Okay, so the graphics are good. They’re not stunning, but they’re good. My PC is really good. I runs the majority of games
      I buy on max settings with a good 60+ FPS. Fallout 3 has blurry textures and bad character animations, yet it skips and lags regularly on medium settings. Why? Bad game
      optimisation? I’d say that Bioshock and UT3 look MUCH nicer and lag considerably less.

      2. The animation- People skid across the floor, the lip-syncing is awful and all the characters look like burn victims. All of them.

      3. The shooting- Fallout 3 is not a FPS by any means. I know they said that, but they could have done a better job explaining that it was
      absolutely not even remotely playable whatsoever as a FPS, and that we’d completely rely on just using the VATS system and randomly generate
      luck for us in the hope that we’d kill the enemy. Bullets travel slowly, skew off in different directions, enemies don’t react to damage, and close-up
      headshots with shotguns and rifles sometimes take off around a quarter of enemy health. There’s no point attempting to dodge enemy bullets or hide behind
      cover, since enemy bullets always fire perfectly straight, without cocking up.

      4. The mods- I added a few mods and forced VSync off to hopefully free up the controls and give it more of an “actual enjoyable game” feel. The mods
      are very clever. It still baffles me why Bethesda never included the amazingly incredible power to sprint or hide behind cover. Still, with all these mods, it’s
      a bit like decorating a dead whore’s corpse with really pretty decorations, when you could just get a really nice cake and not have to decorate it. That simile
      basically means that there’s no point modding something that’s not remotely enjoyable in the first place.

      5. The sound- Not much to argue with here. The voice acting can suck or be great. Can’t really complain in this department. However, they were extremely
      generous when giving us the radio, since they added five songs to listen to. 20 hours minimum to complete the game and you can me to listen to five songs
      on a loop until the end? No thanks.

      6. The polish- Wild creatures, such as wolves, have this tendency to chase you like normal, then jump through any obstacles and travel ten meters
      towards you, being completely un-dodgable in every way, shape and form. Once an animal dives at you, it is physically impossible to actually not receive
      damage. Nice one, Bethesda. Blocking would be a great mechanic, but it takes a few second to switch to melee, and reloading animations can’t be stopped.
      If you do block, it takes the Raynard’s disease-baring hero about 2 second to lift it up and cover himself up. Useful if you’re psychic, like Derren Brown. Unfortunately,
      only Derren Brown is Derren Brown, meaning that for all the other players of this game, the blocking mechanic is rendered completely useless.

      7. The RPGness- Wow. It’s rewarding levelling up because the game is so goddamn fun. Once I’ve sold 92 cans of pigs’ faeces and shot glitchy, burn victim, moonwalking,
      out-of-sync, 80s, glam rock-style Raiders with my plastic gun that fires in every direction but forward, I can finally level up. I usually love improving characters. But this
      is like being given a really good level up menu in a Leapfrog learning pad game. It’s pointless.

      8. Difficulty- One minute, you’re fighting a small, furry creature with 8 health, then suddenly the last boss limps awkwardly through objects facing backwards and kills you
      in 3 hits. They’ve taken a clever angle. Instead of making a learning curve, let’s make a learning pile of dog jizz.

      9. Fun- Whether you’re picking up rusty car batteries or talking to old women about their past, there’s always something enthralling to do on Fallout 3. I personally love finding
      scrap metal in boxes and repairing pipes by looking at them and pressing E.

      10. Level design- What do you do when you give someone a random level generator, corpses, and a terrible imagination. You get a Fallout 3 level, of course!

      11. Strategy and Planning- When you’re not walking over pixellated, blurry, hard-to-see mines and dying in a single hit, or being shot down by a robot 7 minutes
      after starting the game, you can plan your attacks out, and use some strategy. I find that the easiest and actual only strategy is to open VATS, shoot them in the head,
      since it does the most damage, then walk off and use health packs, then repeat until enemy A is dead. It’s a rinse and repeat method, and they must’ve put lots of effort into
      designing such an interesting battle concept.

      My final thoughts: Thank you, Bethesda! I felt bad about children dying of famine and war, but this game made me realise how lucky they have it. They’ve never had
      to spend 20 hours trying to enjoy it. They’ve not been through what I’ve been through. I feel like a charity should be set up for people who’ve had to play this game.
      I need someone to tell me that I’m not dirty or bad, and that it’s not my fault that the adverts told me to buy this game. It’s also given me a refreshing outlook on game
      design. We’re all gonna keep designing, because I know that anything anyone here produces, including me, has to be better than this. I feel refreshed and happy knowing
      that I’ve definitely tried one of the “greats”, a “game of the year”, that I’ve really given it a good knuckling down, and can honestly say it’s time to throw in the towel.
      I’m off to go and listen to some white noise and splash my face in hydrochloric acid, in the hope that it will purify my soul, in both a mental and spritual way.

      I’d have to say that this is probably the worst game I’ve ever played in my entire life. I’ve played some bad games, too. Some really bad ones… like Killzone. But this… this
      is just… abysmal, disgusting filth.

      Do I buy your new game, known as Brink? It looks great. They always do. Fool me twice, shame on you, fool me three times, shame on me… and you… for making wank games.

      • November 29, 2010 at 4:55 pm

        Have a look down this thread at my response, I think you havent actually playing this game properly, the evidence is in your replies

      • Sam
        March 18, 2011 at 7:52 am

        You’re right. And why can’t they get the running speed right? What more fun is there than spending 5 minutes walking 100 feet? Especially when the whole fricking place is basically a desert. I cheated and used god mode. I shot people IN THE FACE WITH A RIFLE and they didn’t die. What have other people been playing that make them think this game is good? I’ve been playing games for over 20 years. This reminds me of some crappy games that came out years ago.

  3. alexandru
    December 3, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Bethesda can **** my **** for what they’ve done with Fallout 3, turning it into pure crap!

  4. January 30, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    I agree, I rented fallout 3 and go boared after playing for about 4-5 hours or maybe less, I even did some cheats to spice things up, no boring. I liked Oblivion though and played that for a long time before it got boring. The environments in Fallout are drab, boring and all the same. The maze of a city is not fun to explore, it is like they took what was good with Oblivion and left it on the side (the beautiful landscapes, the water scenes, the exploration) and filled it with crap. I agree this is not a game that is worth a 95, I could see it getting an 80 or 85 because people do like it, but this is crap to get the game of the year and all of these accolades.

  5. Amfony
    February 9, 2009 at 3:40 am

    “Fallout 3: A post nuclear F***ing FPS.”

    I read that title and thought it was a positive statement, like “yeah! a post nuclear fucking FPS! 😀 ” but I see it was actually “booo! a post nuclear fucking FPS :(”

    And I was just starting to think this is the coolest blog ever. FPS is the best genre of game and fallout is a cool franchise, sounds like it should be a beautifull thing.

    • Excessive
      February 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

      Dear Amfony,

      Bethesda really ****** up my dear Fallout, by turning it to a shooter. Only some options do exist in the dialogs, which affects the game, and one of them is at the end.

      In original series, almost every choice affects the game. This is what makes Fallout the best game ever.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Descendant
    February 10, 2009 at 3:48 am

    I loved the old fallout but 1st person is allways more immersive then third person and I like to get into my games 🙂

    I will try fallout 3 out when I get some time…I wonder if I should get the PC version or XBox 360?

  7. Excessive
    February 10, 2009 at 9:09 am

    It doesn’t make any difference. Both of them sucks greatly.

    You’ll regret your decision any way 🙂

  8. Marth
    February 22, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    I’m pretty sure you’re all dumb. Stop critisizing games you don’t like on the internet and get a girl or something.

    • Sam
      March 18, 2011 at 8:05 am

      “Stop criticizing games on the internet.” WTF?
      Why? Will something blow up? Will you cry? What a stupid thing to say. This is EXACTLY what we should be doing here. I don’t want people to waste their money. Maybe they can save it for a girl or something.

  9. Excessive
    February 23, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Dear Marth,

    Thank you for your constructive comment. I’m sure all of the readers will agree about who is dumb after reading your high quality post.

    Thank you. We sometimes need people like you to remember us what idiot means.

    Keep posting!

  10. Fallout3isokayish
    April 29, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Dear Excessive,

    Your sarcastically proper grammar was just as funny the second time as it was the first.

    Keep being a dumbfuck!

  11. Fallout3suckshairyballs
    August 11, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Dear Fallout3isokayish,

    Great job on showing how intelligent you are by playing games like Oblivion and Fallout 3, which by the way take no real skill or thought, and noticing how wonderfully sarcastic Excessive’s comment was!

    Keep trolling!

  12. Fallout3: Post apocolyptic piece of shit.
    December 5, 2009 at 4:56 am

    Fallout lacked depth, failed to draw rapt attention from alot of people, and for the price of $50 had only 10hrs of content, minus the 15hrs worth of forced walking. Dialogue was lacking, there was basically a yes or no good or bad reply to every dialogue line. Bethesda took the fallout franchise and using its name produced a fps clone, there’s very few actual rpg elements to the game. I wonder how much they paid to win over reviewers and buy the awards the game won.

  13. November 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    Ben A. Jerry you obviously a total die hard fan of the 1st and 2nd and unless 3 is exactly the same your not happy

    Fallout 3 is simply an amazing game, its like oblivion yes but that is a good thing because oblivion is such a good game, open ended, tons of side questions, excellent graphics, superb voice acting, gripping story with plenty of add ons.

    You say most people look like burn victims. you obv havent playing enough of this game to realize a lot of them are! such as ghouls, these people are the survivors and residents to nuclear hazards, violence, radiation and many have survived the war, so you cant expect them to be perfectly clean.

    You seem like one of those people you just cant please and are so addicted to the originals if someone makes a new one, changes it maybe even make it better you cant do antyhing else but bring up a whole insane list of pure invalid comments. I respect this is your opinion but you shouldnt be playing games like this. Epic RPGS with tons of things to do, great graphics and truly violent and extremely exciting combat

    Fallout 3 – 95%

    • Sam
      March 18, 2011 at 8:01 am

      95%. Really? What games have you played before. This game is annoyingly bad. Violent and exciting combat. Really? My problem is that I’ve played many good games before. This is inexcusable in 2011. This reminds me of a game I played 10 years ago. I can’t believe the way enemies jump and slide around. There is little to no sense of realism in combat. Eventually when I kill people their heads come off. That’s realism? And do I really want to do another stupid useless quest? It’s been done over and over and over.
      Don’t get me wrong, I love RPG’s. Maybe that’s why I hate this one so much.

  14. November 29, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    guy before me

    10 hours of content??

    I have been playing it for 95+ hours and still have tons to do. unless your reffering to the main quest only you have gotten it completly wrong, especially with the add ons, there are simply hours and hours of gameplay even if you rush the questions and skip all the bonusus, not to mention the hundreds of unmarked questions and locations to explore, the world is huge it would be impossible to finish it all in 15 hours.

    The answers have a good and element because of the karma system, giving you these options reflect in what kind of character you want to be , ie evil, good.

    Im getting tired of people slagging of F3 when they havent even played it properly. Its an amazing game, some people you just cant please

  15. November 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    **Unmarked quests**

    **answers you can give people have a good and bad element**

  16. February 22, 2011 at 1:27 am

    Wow, ok, so you guy’s ever heard that old saying, “if everyone calls you a horses-a##, then you’re a horses a##.” ??

    Look at ANY review site with comments from THE GAMERS and you will find that the majority of people are HUGELY disappointed with this game. If 75% of gamers say the game sucks, it probably sucks.

    And so being a skeptic, I had to find out. I have heard of this game since it came out, but was sadly, still soaked into other games. Being that I love RPG elements and I certainly have an eternal place in my heart for the FPS genre, I decided to buy FO3. Mind you, I never played the first two, but I did enjoy Deus Ex very much so I figured I would have a grand old time.

    Not even.

    I just un-installed the game, after 20+ hours of gameplay. I literally don’t even know what to say to the people defending this title. It is awful, pure and simple. Oh! Did I mention that senior citizens will randomly keel over and die when forced to play this game, that is how INCREDIBLY BORING it is…

    That’s my review, I’m not going to state objective reasoning as thousands of players have already voiced the reasons WHY THIS GAME SUCKS.

  17. _purple_
    July 1, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Sorry, sorry, sorry, i know for those that like this game it’s just unacceptable that others could even think of dumping on it at all, but… i’m sorry, it’s a pile of bile and excrement of a game.
    If this game (as rightly said by someone else) was put on the market 10 years ago, then you might have thought… ‘hey, not bad, not incredible, but damn fine indeed!’

    but i can’t believe how old fashioned, stale and lame the humour and ideas are. Sort of reminds me of watching BAD foreign films, when they think they’re arty and clever.

    Sorry, this game has missed it big time, has no class, is lame and childish and after playing Half Life MANY years before, opening up this and expecting something better (now many years down the track), it felt like i’d received a knee to the groin by a childish half wit!

    I only hope that those who presently think this is good software, will get a chance later, to reflect and pass on a different piece of advice to others (once their taste and maturity firm up), so they can in turn help keep us all from slipping back in to a puddle of ooze, for shitty companies to just strip mine and shit on in their lust for their never ending desire for profit over substance.

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